Jan 12, 2017

Being Sick Equals Messy House

Have you ever noticed that when a mom gets sick the whole house falls apart? I really caught it the day before yesterday when I came home from work with serious stomach pains. I thought I had eaten something that maybe didn’t agree with me, or that I had gotten food poisoning, but after a few hours and I started running a fever I realized that I was down with the flu.

Isn’t it amazing how our whole houses fall apart when us moms get sick?

All day long yesterday I laid in bed and worked on my laptop while fighting the urge to go puke my guts out. I wanted to get up and clean the house, make something to eat for my family, and have a cup of coffee, but no amount of wanting was getting me out of bed.

Funny thing is this — when everyone else in the house is sick, I am right there, rubbing backs, foreheads, and giving all kinds of snuggles.

I cook meals and wait on the sick hand and foot.

But let mom get sick — it is like the worst virus in the world has hit the household.

~No one knows what to do
~No one knows how to clean anything

~God forbid that mom get any loving — she has a fatal disease and if you touch her, you will get it too.

Thankfully I have a well behaved daughter who can take care of herself.

 But let's face it, It's an unwritten rule that moms are not allowed to get sick. In fact, they never get sick.  Now, we all know this is a fallacy, and we've searched high and low for this chapter in the Rules of Motherhood handbook. It's obviously hidden, but very much applicable. Getting sick just doesn't happen.

God forbid you do get "sick"... as you're the only one who knows where the thermometer might actually be. Does it really matter though? If you're wearing four pairs of socks, a sweatshirt and a robe and you're still sweating, you're sick.

Beyond the thermometer, on the sick days the math homework will disappear along with a shoe needed for school and a lunch box and socks that once had matches will continue to vanish at an exponential rate until your health returns. 

The non-functioning stay in bed all day and eat homemade chicken soup option doesn’t apply no matter how hard you pray for this. Unless you have adequate backup. Also do not expect your child to go to bed with the pleas of Mom’s really not feeling well tonight — please go to bed now. Moms simply don’t have the ability to hibernate. I searched for that chapter too.

In continuation of yesterdays post, for the love of god, just let the house go. Now, I know this is the antithesis of what we normally like to do as moms but the same rules as when you have a newborn apply. Let the house go. Cereal for dinner is an excellent, and according to the nutritional label on these boxes of grainy goodness, a semi healthy option. But even if it’s just a couple of clementines and some chocolate chips they will survive the one night of you deciding to heal.

 So here I am, signing off... I am going to try to sleep, but this seems futile as every time I nod off, I get a buzzing message from my boss asking me the same question from months ago, which could so easily be found in his email inbox. GRRRR

Alas, I will nonetheless try.

Peace out,

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